iPhoney Rumours Competition – And the Winner is…..

iPhone 5 Rumour Competition – Winner Announced!

To celebrate the release of the Apple iPhone 5, GizmoBird offered all our readers the chance to win an iPhone 5 in our iPhoney Rumours Competition. To be in with a chance of winning, we asked you to write a crazy, funny or even factual rumour about the iPhone 5 or iPad.

Over 400 of you clever clogs entered, and as you can imagine we had a huge number of fantastic entries to read through. (We’ve certainly been laughing our socks off in the GizmoBird offices)

But, there could only ever be one winner, and that is LUKE STILL from Dorchester, with his brilliant entry “iPhone 5 with ‘OmniSiri’ brings Apple into the Artificial Intelligence market” Check it out below!

We’d like to offer HUGE congratulations to Luke, and a massive thank you to all of you who took the time to enter this competition and make it so much fun. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did!

We’ll be running a new competition very soon called “Review my mobile”. So make sure you check back here shortly for more details on how to enter! Better still – sign up to our newsletter, and we’ll send the details directly to you.



 

iPhone 5 with ‘OmniSiri’ brings Apple into the Artificial Intelligence market

The eagerly anticipated iPhone 5 will lead humanity into a new era of Artificial Intelligence, Apple has announced today.

Apple’s announcement of the new iPhone 5 at their headquarters in Cupertino, California this morning surpassed speculators’ expectations with the unveiling of an upgraded Siri application named ‘OmniSiri’, hailed as a revolution in electronic personal assistance.

In beta since its initial release in October 2011, iOS’ integrated Siri application allows iPhone users to communicate with the device via voice commands, including the ability to request directions, send emails and set reminders.

 

The new ‘OmniSiri’, demonstrated by CEO Tim Cook at Apple’s annual media event this morning, allows for far more personalised interaction with the iPhone.

“When you first turn on your iPhone, OmniSiri will carry out a detailed check of your apps, music, contacts and messages,” Cook explained. “It’ll build a personality profile for you that will continue to grow as you use the device. OmniSiri will learn about your likes and dislikes, habits, regularly visited locations and even the manner in which you speak every day.”

OmniSiri hails Apple’s entry into the ‘friend’ market; the app will spontaneously interact with the user throughout the day, engaging you in conversation and acting as a source of support and guidance.

Through a series of new innovations including constantly-on cameras and microphones, heat, scent and moisture sensors, OmniSiri will collate data about your every waking moment. “OmniSiri will know your body better than you do,” said Cook.

When your mood levels are low, OmniSiri will offer a shoulder to cry on and provide supportive advice, and it’ll offer compliments and confidence-boosters when things are going well. Each burst of applause from the audience at today’s event was met by OmniSiri automatically playing Kool & The Gang’s 1980 hit ‘Celebration’ at full volume, a further feature of the device.

The revolutionary methods of data collection used by the app will allow it to adapt and gauge your every need. “Feeling hungry?”, asked the CEO. “No worries. OmniSiri keeps a constant check on your heart rate, pheromone emissions and blood sugar levels. By the time you go to call for a pizza, OmniSiri will have already ordered you one.”

OmniSiri also helps users keep up with their hectic social lives. Cook demonstrated how the app would automatically send personalised messages to his wife at intervals throughout the day, so he didn’t have to bother. “Can’t wait to see you this evening, honey” read one message sent without Cook’s permission.

Through voice recognition, the app can gauge emotion levels and respond accordingly; Cook explained that after a heated domestic argument, the app automatically ordered flowers and arranged a series of marriage counselling sessions for him and his wife.

The app pre-screens all texts and emails, automatically deleting those which it thinks won’t be of interest. If you receive a Facebook invite to a birthday party from someone you’ve not spoken to in months and who has different taste in films, OmniSiri will proceed to decline the invite and remove the offender from your friends list, so you don’t have to worry.

Two iPhone 5 users will now be able to keep up idle chit-chat on an ongoing basis without any intervention from the users themselves; OmniSiri puts in all the work when it comes to maintaining friendships where ordinarily you just wouldn’t bother to put in the effort.

Cook demonstrated more of the app’s revolutionary new features; after spritzing himself with ‘Old Spice’; the app spoke out, suggesting trying a less pungent scent and proceeding to order a selection of new fragrances from Amazon.

The iPhone now also tailors more sensitively to the older market; with its innovative ability to monitor everything from your temperature to your body mass index, OmniSiri can tell when your health isn’t at its best, automatically making hospital appointments or funeral arrangements as appropriate.

Early testers of the app praised its benefits. “OmniSiri told me my taste in music was terrible, and deleted most of my songs. It then went right ahead and bought over three hundred pounds worth of new music from the iTunes Store”, said one tester. “My bank account’s empty but it’s totally worth it.”

OmniSiri will be included on the iPhone 5 when it goes on general release next month.

Posted in Apple, GizmoBird | 2 Comments

2 Responses to iPhoney Rumours Competition – And the Winner is…..

  1. Tanya Devany says:

    Brilliant! The perfect rumour to lose to

  2. sadly i was late to enter for it.

Leave a Reply